Awkward

Do you ever go somewhere or do something but instantly regret it because it turns into an awkward situation?

Last night, I walked out of my room after doing some homework to get something to eat. My roommate was in the kitchen as well and we were talking which was fine and fun.

But then her boyfriend walked out of her room. Slightly awkward. I didn't know what to do as they made googly-eyes at each other. I couldn't just leave because they would occasionally bring me into their little world. I was also in the middle of getting myself dinner. Lucky for me, they left the apartment soon after.

Earlier today, I was sitting at a table reading a textbook when a random guy suddenly appears above me and says, "Bioooology?" In a really weird voice. I look at him and say, "Um...Geology." He nods and walks off.

Awkward.

Only a few moments ago I had yet another awkward moment. But in order for you to understand this awkward moment, I have to give a little side story.

Last summer, I met a guy who...is interesting to say the least. Not only did he put me down for my choice of major (elementary education) but he made fun of a friend of mine because of where she worked. During the rest of the summer, I would go to church activities where this particular guy would constantly stare at me and then leave right before class started. Not normal, right? Then one day, as I was leaving a church activity, this particular guy was staring into my car. Yeah, not normal.

And then he says, "You can tell a lot about a person by the stuff in their car." Yup, not normal.

I haven't seen this person for a while, or even talked to him...until today, which brings us to awkward situation number three.

So here I am, reading an article for my English class when I hear knocking on my table. I look up and see...this particular person. I don't want to be rude so we have a mini conversation which includes him telling me how early he gets up in the morning (4 am) and how he sliced his fingers open today in his auto class. Even though we were having a normal-ish conversation, It felt unbelievably awkward. 

But if we didn't have awkward situations, we wouldn't have anything to laugh at. So instead of viewing awkward situations as a bad thing, I can look at it as something I can laugh at later on.

"Whenever there is an awkward moment, somebody in the world is thinking about Abraham Lincoln wearing a pink tutu." 

It's a Friday-like Thursday

The amazing thing about my class schedule is I don't have classes Fridays. Instead, I feel like Thursday is Friday and I have an extra long weekend. Gotta love it.

However, today is Thursday and it is definitely dragging by in a Friday-like fashion. The hour-and-a-half classes feel more like a three hour class and my brain feels as if it isn't there.

I mean, I couldn't even spell fashion at first! If I can't spell something as simple as "fashion" then you know my brain is fried.

I need a weekend to relax my poor brain.

But instead of relaxing, I think I'll be putting more stress upon myself. I'm taking two dreaded classes: Psychology and Geology. I am seriously considering dropping psychology. However, if I drop psychology, it will put me down to 11 credit hours and I need at least 12 credits to keep my financial aid. This brings us to the conclusion of dropping psychology and adding something else instead.

Being two weeks into the spring semester, I'm not sure how well this will work out for me. I'll have to take an easy class in hopes of avoiding being completely behind.

In the long run, would dropping psychology be in the best interest for me?

Here are my options: Keep psychology, struggle in this class until April with the possibility of failing. Hm. Not good. So drop Psychology, take an easier class, hope I'm not too far behind and hopefully enjoy myself and learn something?

Choices choices.

Education

I should not be on the internet writing a blog post. If my English assignment was done then yes, writing here would be legal.

But I still have one summary to type up.

Luckily, it's simple and doesn't take much brain power. Read two articles, write a paragraph about each summarizing what I've read. So simple I keep thinking there must be something more. 

However, it's harder than one would think because both articles talk about the same subject: Finland kicking America's butt when it comes to education. Okay, technically Finland is kicking almost everybody's butt when it comes to education. 

There are slight differences in these articles (one discusses Finland trying to make schools equal for all and smooth out social differences while the other one says Finland is able to help student's more and have teachers with Masters Degrees), but generally, they are the same.

So what's a college student to do? 

If I had to write a combined paper about both articles, I could probably do it. Actually, it would be fun to write because it relates to my life. I'm trying to earn a degree to become an elementary school teacher. While reading these articles, I found some fun activities to use in my own classroom in the future (like outdoor math cards where the kids go outside and find 50 rocks and group them into groups of ten, find a stick as long as their foot, etc. and make a game out of it). I could also point out that Finland is kind to their teachers and gives them a better pay whereas teachers in America don't get paid much.

But I'm not writing a paper. Nope. I'm writing a one paragraph summary about each article. 

Lucky for me, I just had a moment of inspiration. 

Forgiveness

Sometimes, forgiveness is hard to give and yet, we always have to give it. It is easier said than done. Before walking into a situation, one could say, "Yes. I always forgive." But then they learn the situation and a decision has to be made.

For me, forgiveness is hard to give and other times, it is easy. 

It's hard because sometimes I don't want to give it. Why forgive someone when they've taken away your trust, your security, and left you feeling hurt and unwilling to trust? 

But it is so easy to forgive because at the same time, I want to forgive. Everyone deserves a second chance, a third chance, however many chances it takes for them to get it right. 

And what would happen to the people we never forgave? What if they need our help, support, and love? What if they just need a friend and we denied them friendship? How is that fair of us?

When faced with difficult situations where forgiveness is required, I hope I will always be able to forgive and I hope I will be there to help them. 

Remember, everyone makes mistakes. We all need to learn from our mistakes and forgive.

Doppleganger

Last semester while I was at Institute, some random guy kept calling me "Not-Lauren." He said I looked almost exactly like his friend Lauren. I thought it was slightly annoying but soon forgot about my doppleganger.

However, today at my elementary education class, Doc (my professor wants us to call her Doc) asked me if I had an older sibling in the elementary ed program. I said I didn't. I'm the oldest in my family and the only sibling attending college right now. She told me she had a girl that looked exactly like me in her Monday class, except she is slightly taller than I. Apparently we even have the same mannerisms.

Could this Lauren be my doppleganger? Unfortunately, I forgot about the "Not-Lauren" experience and didn't ask if her name was Lauren.

Isn't it weird to think there is another girl floating around campus who looks like me? I wonder if she has heard about me. Maybe I'm the doppleganger! I hope we run into each other sometime because I want to see for myself if we really do look alike.

And then it gets weirder if you think about it because not only do we look alike (according to others) but we're also doing the same major! I don't think it can get any stranger.

On a random note, I was talking to my mom today and she finds it slightly funny that I look forward to moving out so I can have a chance to eat my own food and then my roommates eat my food for me. Oh and hide (steal...or hide) my dishrags reducing me to putting my rags under my bed between use. Fabulous.

Good thing my Oreo's are hidden.

Spring Semester: Day One

Even though I only had two classes on Mondays, it still felt like a very long day. 

My first class was at one in the afternoon so this morning I lounged around for a few hours (mostly on Facebook) before I left. I needed to go to a store to replace a wallet my dog had chewed to pieces. After this, I went to my math class.

Which was a nightmare.

I'm the kind of person who needs to see how to learn something new. With math, I can't sit down with the textbook and figure everything out. I need guidance and instruction from a professor. 

This math class was not meant for me. It's called Hybrid Math 1010. Two days of the week, the class is held in a computer lab where each student sits in front of a computer and does all the math homework online. Every student is on a different section because everyone works at a different space. Of course, there is a professor there to answer the occasional question. Two other days of the week, there is a lecture class. However, the lecture wouldn't be beneficial because everyone is at a different place in their math book.

Needless to say, I was stressed. I don't even think stressed is the right word to use. The professor even admitted hybrid classes are most likely to make students fail. That's not what I need right now.

And the best part about this story is, only two people out of a class of thirty knew it was a hybrid class. These two people only guessed it was a hybrid class because they knew the classroom was a computer lab. No one else knew about it. We all thought it was a regular math class. One man even talked back to the professor saying he thought he had signed up for a regular math class on Mondays and Wednesdays (which I thought I had signed up for as well...I just didn't get angry).

After a nightmarish math class, I had English. English is usually something I enjoy but I have a few worries about this one. It's mostly research writing. I have a very difficult time writing research papers. I mostly write stories, poems, or my thoughts on this blog. The good thing is she is a very nice person and from what my professor said today, it seems as if she has the same learning views as I have. She is also very willing to meet with each student several times just to help them succeed.

Tonight, I feel much better about life. I have dropped that math class and signed up for a "student success in college" class. This summer, I'll have to take a regular math class. Honestly, it might work best for me to have only one class to focus on. Maybe, just maybe, I'll end up getting a good grade in math.

Tomorrow, I'm not going to be stressed out. I'm going to enjoy my day and I'm going to see a good friend. Tomorrow will be a good day because it isn't going to be Monday.

Today I...

Forgot my sweatshirt

Watched part of a movie called Warrior

Read part of my book

Talked with roommates 

Became angered with my dog for chewing up my brand new wallet

Looked at the full moon

Might have shed a tear or two

Made a PB&J sandwich

Ate Ben & Jerry's red velvet ice cream

Found a spot in cupboards to finish unpacking canned foods

Forgot to bring a lamp from home (it is very dark here)

Noticed a cop car parked in the parking lot for a half hour

Became stressed about a psychology class (what if I can't keep up with the class?)

Slept in until 9...stayed in bed reading a book until 10

Tomorrow I will:

Start my second semester of college

Go to Walmart to get command strips for pictures and get a mirror

Go home to get forgotten sweatshirt and lamp

Go to my algebra class

Go to my English class

Put gas in my car (maybe)

Read a book (most likely)

Wonder what Tuesday classes will be like

Growing Up

Tonight, as I'm packing away my things, my younger brother (not little, he is taller than I) comes in declaring, "I have facial hair!" He is so proud of that one little hair and even told me to touch it (I told him absolutely not).

And that got me thinking. How did growing up happen? I remember when my brother and I played Tonka trucks in the dirt everyday. We also played School; I was always the teacher, he the student.

Over time, things began to change. We moved into a neighborhood populated with kids our age and we no longer played with trucks everyday. Perhaps that was when we first began to "grow up."

Now here we are. I'm packing clothes, books, pictures, and more into boxes and bags to move into an apartment. I'm starting my own adventure away from Tonka trucks. However, I'm learning how to play School as my future career. 

My brother is in the middle of his Sophomore year of high school, dating girls, working towards a driver's license, and on the high school swim team. At this moment, he's in the bathroom shaving off that one little hair on his chin that he is so proud of. 

We're both growing up. We're both learning new things and discovering who we are. But something I've realized is even if I'm 99-years-old, I'll still be learning new things and growing up.

And the best part is, I'll always have memories of my brother and I playing Tonka trucks in the backyard.

2011

In 2011:

I had appendicitis, had surgery, and spent my first night in a hospital

Finished school

Started school at a different place

Made new friends

Lost many loved ones

Became closer to extended family members through hard times

Friends left to serve missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

Friends returned home from serving missions

Worked at a gas station/fast food restaurant

Friends were married

Cousin (pseudo sister) was married

Had a snow day

Got an apartment

Continued working on my awesome manual car driving skills (aka a stick shift)

Learned how much textbooks can cost

Went to the very last Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 midnight premiere

Earned a 3.8 GPA for fall semester

Went to several dances just for fun

Learned there is something called "Dark Matter" in outer space

Learned a full moon is when the moon rises at sunset and sets at sunrise

Started a blog

Went to the temple countless times with my amazing friends

Made wishes

Stressed about almost everything

Went to Arizona and experienced 117 degree weather

Saw fireworks

Celebrated Christmas with family

Celebrated the new year with friends

Saw countless movies

Took a vacation with my very good friend
Took pictures of almost everything
A cousin moved in with my family (which has been a blast)
Got a puppy and named her Luna
Stood in front of a non-automatic door and waited for it to open (it didn't open)
Watched a Lunar Eclipse
And so many more things!

2011 has been an amazing year. I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store for me! Happy New Year!